- So You Find the Time to Ask for and Get More Referrals!
“You have exactly as much time as the richest person in the world, the most powerful person, and the wisest person: 24 hours each day.” Dan Baker
“Self-discipline is the ability to make yourself do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not.” Elbert Hubbard
The big picture to your referral business is the rest of your life and where it all fits in. There is definitely a time and a place to step back and make sure you are heading in the right direction.
I am compelled to share the time management system I’ve been using for over 15 years because so many people blame lack of time as a major impediment in their life. Next week I will share my weekly planning strategy. However, goals and habits are more important and need to be addressed first!
Just last week Robert, a client of mine, complained for the umpteenth time that he just never had enough time in his life and –for our purposes – to follow up effectively with the referrals he was working so hard to get in the first place! I offered him some short-term suggestions, but it really starts at the top with being ever clearer about what you want in life.
“The mantra of the millennium is ‘I don’t have time. I don’t have time. I don’t have time’” Dan Baker, in his wonderful book What Happy People Know, expresses no sympathy for this so-called belief, pointing out that there are still 24 hours in every day. He argues that we are programmed by fear to want everything often because we feel like we are not good enough as we are.
“The real culprit is making decisions that are driven by fear: choosing too much, choosing a happiness trap* as a priority, or not choosing at all. These are actions that squander time and render it scarce.”
(*The happiness traps are worth listing: trying to buy happiness; trying to find it through pleasure/indulgence; trying to over-analyze the past and end up a victim; trying to overcome weaknesses; trying to force happiness)
His advice is to make sure you prioritize what is truly most valuable to you. The three areas that fulfill us most are our purpose, our health and our relationships. This leads me back to the Big Picture.
Goals: This is a great place to start. There are many excellent books on this topic. My favorites are Brian Tracy’s Goals!, David Rock’s Personal Best, Fiona Harrold’s Be Your Own Life Coach, and Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. David Rock gets you to have some fun creating short and snappily-worded goals that really sing to you. At present I like starting my day out with Brian Tracy’s method of writing out 12 month goals in the present tense and starting each sentence with the word ‘I’ ex. I earn $x, I work out x times/week, I enjoy time with my family x times/year etc. This is fun so long as you stretch yourself and think bigger with your goals or else it can get monotonous. The real juice comes from picturing each one actually existing in your life.
I also enjoy John Eliot’s contrarian perspective in Overachievement that goals can be limiting if you want to be a high achiever. His research at Rice University finds that you can get too focused on detail and strategies rather than passionately pursuing the dream, enjoying and excelling at the process and focusing on what’s possible.
The real point here is to create something big that you’re up to. Goals based around what matters most to you can get you excited and in action. Your business and financial goals can all be impacted significantly by getting consistently more high quality referrals. That’s why you’re reading this!
Habits: Many of us try out new ideas and strategies in our business and even though we see some positive results, we do not turn them into habits. There are things we did when we first started out that helped us get where we are today – and yet we stopped doing them!
Whether it was because those activities were always outside our comfort zone or because they required greater self-discipline, the fact is we are living small, avoiding complete responsibility, and not fulfilling our potential by avoiding doing these important and effective things.
The book that has influenced me more than other has to be Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. This is information that the growing Gen Y may not be as familiar with. Please spread the word so that they recognize the timeless power of these seven habits:
1. Be proactive: take complete responsibility for all areas of your life – much easier said than done. How’s your health? Financial situation? Relationships with family members? It’s very easy to put the blame ‘out there’ but this resolves nothing.
2. Begin with the end in mind: know where you want to go in all areas of your life. When Alice tells the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland that she doesn’t know where she wants to go, the cat replies: “Well, then, any road will do.” Don’t be another Alice!
3. Put first things first: not pursuing the most important things in life is the cause of most of our unhappiness. You want to spend your time on the first things in your life.
4. Think Win/Win: Life and business work better when both parties are happy. This is why I believe that asking for and getting referrals should strengthen relationships. Your job is to make sure that the person who referred you is going to get a thank you and great feedback. Your goal is to make that referral source feel terrific – not least so they will refer you again but also to honor the relationships that are being impacted. Everybody has put their integrity on the line.
How can you grow a business if you’re squeezing referrals out of people who are not particularly impressed with the work you’ve done? It violates every principle out there. That’s why you want to ask clients to tell you about the value they have received.
5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood: poor communication is the main reason for challenges in life and business. Make sure the other person knows he or she has been understood before you respond. Much easier said than done! For most of us this is a skill to develop.
6. Synergize: you cannot get to the top on your own no matter how proud you are about being ‘independent’. Reaching out for support and guidance and working together with others will move you from good to great. If you are obsessed with doing it all yourself, you are not at the top of your game. I know not least because that’s how I used to be!
7. Sharpen the Saw: this means that if you don’t take care of yourself first, you are no good to anyone. You have physical, emotional, spiritual and mental needs that must all be nurtured and kept active for you to be an effective person.
Goals and habits are the first piece to mastering your time and deciding where the referrals you want come into play. There is a second more strategic piece and that’s weekly planning and I’ll share some great things that work there next week.
Who else would appreciate this review? Please spread the wealth and forward it on!