How to Help People Refer You

(Because most of your clients don’t know how to do it!)

I was talking to someone this week about him referring me to the corporate training department of his company. Experience has taught me time and again not to leave it to chance. It is often unwise to just ‘hope’ that your referral source will do a masterful job of knowing what to say. Why should they? Their minds are focused on their own life.

So I asked him what he planned to say to this person. It wasn’t very compelling. I was surprised that even though this company is using one of my most effective referral strategies in its national training program, if it had been me receiving the call, I would not have been interested in meeting me if I had heard the way this contact of mine had worded it! So I fairly hastily jumped in and suggested he add that I specialize in one thing: working with advisors in his industry on how to get more referrals. And I made sure he got permission for me to call him. Otherwise I was going to be waiting for this prospect to call me: no thanks!

You must have had the experience where a client has agreed to talk to someone about you and returned saying ‘they weren’t interested’. And if you ask them: ‘I’m curious: what did you tell them?’ that typically you will cringe when they share what they said: ‘I told them my financial advisor wanted to call them and they said they already had a guy.’ ‘I told them you were a motivational speaker’. ‘I told them someone I knew wanted to call them about a job selling insurance.’

In the old days, salespeople would just amass a list of names and numbers, mention the person’s name and essentially cold call them. Sandler Sales Institute research finds this leads to business about 15% of the time compared to 50% of the time if the prospect has given permission for you to call them. That’s why it makes such a big difference to coach your referral sources how to warm up the referral.

I find this is the least discussed referral topic often because the person presenting has not had success getting referrals any time recently. It is not enough to simply be specific about who you want to meet. You want to take that name from a 15% to a 50% likelihood it will end in business. Leads are a dying business. You want warmed up referrals and once you know how to get them, it’s worth the extra work up front.

What you need to do:

1. Ask the expert
Treat your client as the expert. It is easier to get a referral warmed up when it is their idea that you’re following up on rather than one you’re shoving down their throat – today’s consumer doesn’t get too fired up about that. Your client may have the best idea about how to warm up your referral request. Plus, people like to be asked for advice – and it doesn’t feel needy for you. No one expects you to be an expert on someone you don’t know but they do.

Ask in a genuinely curious manner: “What would be the best way to find out if (ex.) the other partners at your firm would be interested in the kind of comprehensive planning that we’ve done?”

I also find the following wording works too:

“While I recognize that this might not be something you talk to them about, how would you best recommend seeing if this is something your parents might appreciate doing?”

All of this is easier because your client will take more ownership of the process. You don’t need to feel pushy. This works extremely well.

Two final notes:
a) Occasionally your client will shrug his shoulders and say: ‘I have no idea’. Then you will want to be ready with a few suggestions: ‘I’d be happy to talk to your CEO/to do a brief presentation to your team over lunch/to join your department for its weekly meeting and introduce how I might be able to help them’

Or phrase them as questions:
‘Do you ever get together for lunch? Would it be possible for me to be part of one of your monthly meetings? Would it easier for me to call her or shoot her an email?’

b) Once in a while, due to the strength of a relationship, dropping a name is enough without getting a referral warmed up. These are usually long-term relationships of many years. Please be cautious though: Many people over-rate how much weight their name will carry.

2. Coach your client what to say
Find wording that works for you.

The gist of what needs to be covered is:
a) “You’ve been very happy with the work we’ve done.
b) You highly recommend that they at least have a quick conversation with me.
c) And is it okay if I give them a call some time?”

This wording is very non-threatening and does not make you sound needy. Note also that you are getting permission to call and not letting them simply pass on your business card leaving you no further course of action but to sit by your phone and will it to ring.

If you specialize in a certain niche market, that’s worth including in part a). People would rather work with specialists than jacks of all trades:

“Tell them that I work with a lot of people in the gay and lesbian community.”

“Tell them I specialize in helping retirees/people who have just been downsized etc”

You will still need a good follow up system! See the April 27, 2009 article on The Referral Authority e-zine page of my website. Remember, if getting referrals was so easy, everyone would get plenty. Kudos to you for wanting to be one of the surprisingly few who wants the highest quality business and to grow it in the most rewarding manner.

Who else might appreciate reading this? A center of influence in your business? Your manager? Umm – your corporate training department! Please forward it on! Then let me know I can call them!!