Four Solutions for a Happier Summer

We’re living in an age of contradictions revealed starkly in Gregg Easterbrook’s The Progress Paradox.
For those in economically developed countries, we have more prosperity, knowledge and life expectancy than 99% of Homo sapiens who have preceded us. Between 1900 and 2000, the lifespan of the average American went from 41 to 77. Backbreaking physical labor is almost unheard of, global communications make contact with loved ones easy, formal discrimination is all but over, most people are homeowners, and our culture takes care of the elderly. We can say what we want, enjoy almost unlimited goods and services, and marry for love. Our great-great grandparents might well tell us that we’re living in a utopia.

The paradox is this:
Regardless of how much progress we make, people always want to know why things aren’t better. Depression is TEN times more common than fifty years ago. We demand more which seems to generate more stress and pressure so we do not enjoy what we do have. Even though we have more free time, we do not sleep or relax enough and we take too little vacation time partly to pay for our lifestyle and the debt we have for living beyond our means as runaway consumerists.

Even before the credit crunch, everything in the media was portrayed as a ‘crisis’ just to make it sound newsworthy. Fear and anxiety sells. What’s going well gets little air time (so thanks for reading this!). We still expect THINGS to make us happy so we spend a lot of time feeling materially deprived – that we don’t have what we imagine everyone else has. We confuse needs and wants even though wants can never be satisfied. According to Princeton’s Daniel Kahnemann, people judge their well-being in a flawed way “not by measuring where they stand now but based on whether they think their circumstances and income will improve in coming years.” Evolution has conditioned us to be a little anxious; after all, we are not that many generations removed from ancestors for whom survival meant something quite different.

Granted, we have more choices available now and that can make some decisions difficult. Yes, acquiring a thing is usually easier than developing more purpose to our lives. Yet most of what we want can’t be bought with money: love, respect, support, peace of mind, family, friendship, and admiration.

Here are four solutions that will require some effort and you’ll be glad you did!

1. Enjoy the present and count your blessings daily: Appreciate all you do have. Doing this does not come easily for most people. It’s more socially acceptable to obsess about what you want next. (How’s that working for your happiness?!)
Grateful people live happier lives. They do not take their blessings for granted and they avoid finding new things to complain about. Also accept that it’s hard to feel good about yourself all the time. Try putting less emphasis on yourself and more on service to others. Remember what goes around comes around. Northwestern University psychologist Dan McAdams argues that “life is precious and we are fortunate to experience it.”

2. Slow down and relax more, schedule less, play more, sleep more, consume less caffeine and less sugar, and breathe more deeply (I’ll bet you’ll try and notice it right now! Also one benefit to meditation). Three days ago I read Atlantic Monthly. Its feature article about happiness cited the longest study ever done on a group of people (60 plus years) and found taking care of your health to be a pivotal determinant to quality of life.

3. Work on creating more meaning in your life rather than acquiring more possessions. This is harder to do but more rewarding than shopping and commuting. For some it may be through religion; for all “by living decent and admirable lives” we can make a difference in our corner of the world. It’s what we all truly want. The study in Atlantic found only two other statistically significant areas: having a stable relationship and several good friendships. What are you waiting for?

4. Be more forgiving and optimistic – there is so much psychological research out there that indicates it is good for your health. Who do you need to talk to and get over past emotional baggage? Ask yourself daily: what am I looking forward to?

Lastly, don’t we owe it to our ancestors? Many of them worked long hours for low pay to leave us their legacy, fought in wars, experienced deprivation, ignorance, and perhaps oppression “and did so partly motivated by the dream that someday there would be men and women who lived long lives in liberty with plenty to eat and without fear of an approaching storm.”(Easterbrook)

Begin with just one thing on this list and make it a daily habit. Your life is too short not to start now. Is the next thing on your schedule that important?!
Please forward this to those who matter in your life and share the wealth.