Referrals: What Do Your Results Say?

I did a seminar yesterday and asked the audience to share what they already know about getting referrals. It was a long list and included: ask; good customer service; build trust; add value; be specific; build relationships; develop friendships; use an agenda; compliment your clients. Even coach your clients what to say was mentioned (by a former client of mine).

If I were doing a seminar on how to get in great shape, I would have accumulated an equally impressive list. I asked the group who knew the rules of football. Many hands were raised so I asked whether we should all get together and scrimmage the nearest NFL team.

You’re getting my point, right? Many of the people at this seminar were not there because they did not know many of the important factors that help us all get referrals. It’s quite possible they thought they didn’t know. But they did. So, what are the determining factors?

1. Most people are uncomfortable asking for referrals

Much of the success getting referrals is believing you do a great job and not feeling bashful about asking for what you want. It helps greatly to focus on how your client will benefit by getting great feedback from the people she or he recommended you to.

The mindset to develop is: I’m good at what I do, I can help people you care about and I know I need to ask you.

One action that helps many of the people I coach is to come up with at least 20 reasons why someone should do business with you.

2. For most people, developing a referral conversation is a learned skill

In 2009, very few people truly have the gift of the gab to just tap into plenty of referrals. Consumers are not the same as they were 20-30 years ago and will rarely give quality referrals to endless amounts of people.

The 6 Steps to an Effective Referral Conversation that I have developed covers the areas that need to be addressed in today’s market to get the results you want: acknowledge your client; find out what value has been received; narrow down your referral request to 2-3 people or ask them what the best way would be to help other specific people they know; reduce their resistance by recognizing that they likely do not know about those people’s specific situations, coach them how to warm up the referral and keep control of the process.

All of this takes practice and role playing. Most adults don’t like to do things badly at first and so are not willing to develop the skills necessary. This is not a quick fix.

3. Few people get referrals from centers of influence

There are almost always other business professionals who market to the same audience as you, yet building a mutually beneficial relationship with some of these people does not appear to be something most people know how to do. I also find that doing this is perceived as hard work and that the results are too far into the future.

Fair enough, the results are seldom instant. So only spend a smaller amount of time on this at first and develop it over time. You get to know, like and trust each other first. You add value to them and make sure they know plenty of people who are good prospects for your business. Make sure this person is motivated too and not just talking a good game.

Then you ask him or her to coach you on who their ideal client is and how to start a conversation about them with the people you know. If they have any social skills, they will reciprocate.

4. Even fewer people target market and get referrals from that demographic

We avoid target marketing out of fear that the rest of the country’s population won’t do business with us. Ironically, by being more specific about who you can help the most you will get more referrals because people will actually think of someone they know when you say ‘attorneys’, ‘contractors’, ‘dentists’, ‘health care CEOs’ etc rather than ‘anyone you know’ or ‘business owners’ or ‘professional women’.

AND once you have one industry or demographic and you want to serve more people, you can more than likely expand beyond ‘physicians’ to other health care professionals or beyond ‘cranberry farmers’ to other farmers or their suppliers.

5. Networking to meet prospects makes most people uncomfortable

We all want more prospects yet most people are unwilling to go out and meet them! It’s just the same as getting referrals, networking is a learned skill for most people (there are a few naturals but so what if you’re not one of them!). We are going to be awkward about it for a while but so is almost everyone else!!! You are not alone. We were all raised not to talk to strangers.

Another challenge is that we often want business quickly, and meeting strangers is rarely a quick solution when most of us work in businesses that are built on good relationships that we cannot short cut. But we have to start somewhere. Willie Sutton robbed banks because that’s where the money was. So surely we all need to go where the people are and get past our fears even if some of this can now be done online!

6. Most people get more referrals because of coaching and the accountability, guidance and support that come with that.

We do not master anything after attending a seminar or boot camp. We are a culture of do-it-your selfers and go-it-aloners. Yet the highest earners in our culture almost all work with coaches and mentors – just think of any athlete (Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong), musician, political leader, film star or corporate leader. So why don’t we learn from this? Really.

I have tried to live my life for long periods as if I’m an island under the foolish notion that I can do it all myself and that I don’t need any help from anyone. But the proof is in the pudding: how’s that working for you? Maybe well in some areas but would it be worth being more open to asking for help in other areas? Really, who are we trying to fool? All the people close to us know we are not perfect yet we seldom admit it to ourselves. This mindset has hurt me deeply and kept me playing small in certain areas of my life. Few people are exempt from such thinking.

If you want to get more referrals, you’re going to need to practice getting better at this. And you really need feedback from someone who has had success getting referrals, from someone who has been there and done it. You will benefit from an outside opinion to help you see the blind spots you’re missing and point out what you don’t know that you don’t know – just like you do with your own clients who think they have stuff figured out mostly! And developing effective wording takes time and is a skill to learn. So is learning how to leverage COI relationships effectively to get referrals. It is not easy but it is doable! Once you know how and then you have a skill for life.

If there is no one in your business environment who fits that description, I urge you to consider a brief conversation with me some time to see if it might be worth investing in mastering your referral-getting skills. The proof is in your results.

Who matters in your business world that would get value from reading this?

Please forward it on, make a difference and spread the wealth.