The only 3 things you can control

As I listen to people talking, it’s striking how much time they spend complaining and blaming others. Just two nights ago I heard someone tell me that the Reagan administration had put him out of business in the ‘80’s. It is socially acceptable to blame something outside ourselves for the things that aren’t going well. But this will NEVER help you get what you want out of life.

If you want your year to be significantly better, the first must in 2009 has to be taking ever more responsibility for your life until you feel you are taking complete responsibility. This is simple information but not easy to implement.

Firstly, remind yourself of these three points from what is Jack Canfield’s first of 64 principles in his excellent book The Success Principles:

a) “Stop looking outside yourself for the answers to why you haven’t created the life and results you want, for it is YOU who creates the quality of the life you lead and the results you produce.”

b) YOU are the cause of all your experiences.

c) If you realize that you have created your current conditions, then you can uncreate and re-create them.

About 10 years ago I remember reading Deepak Chopra’s Seven Spiritual Laws of Success and being outraged when he wrote that everything in my life was what I had chosen. I truly thought he out of his mind. My tirade continued: ‘You’ve got to be kidding me! I’ve chosen this?!’ It’s not been an easy road for me to accept the following truths:

1. If there are things in your life you do not like:

a) Either you’ve made certain decisions that led to these results OR

b) You’ve simply ALLOWED things to happen through inaction or being unwilling to do what was necessary.

2. Your results don’t lie.

So what are your results? If your business, relationship, health or happiness is challenged, you already know. Either your business is growing or it isn’t. Either your body weight is ideal or it isn’t.

Either you’re happy or you’re not.

What are you going to do about it this year?

3. You have to stop blaming and complaining:

 Jack Canfield believes that:

a) People only complain about things they can do something about (health, job, children, relationship) but

b) People usually complain to the wrong people – to people who can’t do anything about their complaint!

In other words, most people complain about their spouse to the people at work, then go home and complain to their spouse about the people at work!

4. Understand why we don’t confront some of our challenges

Because it’s easier not to – in the short term. We ignore the warning signals our intuition gives us because we don’t want to do something uncomfortable.

Yet this is precisely what successful people do. They face challenges head on and do the uncomfortable. This takes COURAGE. It takes courage to make changes to things we complain about.

5. The only three things you can control in your life are:

a) Your thoughts
b) The images you visualize in your mind
c) The actions you take

Please re-read this list and think REALLY hard about these three things! 1 month, 6 months, 3 years, 25 years from now, this list will not have changed.

It is no coincidence that so many accomplished people have written:

a) ‘You become what you think about.’ When students of high achievers tell us that the Michael Dells, John Grishams, and Deion Sanders of the world ‘think differently’ than most people, what they’re saying is that:
Successful people think about what they want and how they’re going to get it most of the time. 

Unsuccessful people think about their problems and how they’re going to relieve their tension from theseproblems most of the time (TV, drugs/alcohol, vacation).

b) Images: in Napoleon Hills’ Think and Grow Rich, what’s the first word he tells us to do to make our financial wishes come true? “SEE and feel and believe yourself already in possession of the money.”

Joseph Murphy writes in The Power of Your Subconscious Mind: “Imagination is your most powerful faculty. Imagine what is lovely. You are what you imagine yourself to be.” 

c) All successful people are intensely action-oriented. Our true beliefs are revealed not by what we say but only by what we do.

Canfield: “Either accept that you are making the choice to accept where you are, take responsibility for your choice, and stop complaining or take the risk of creating your life exactly the way you want it.”

At a minimum you will be more fun to spend time with and much less energy-draining on others!

Remember: the results don’t lie!
The most empowering part of all this is realizing that there is a lot you can do if you are willing to get more out of life. It takes persistence, but the very FACT others have done it is proof that you can do it too.

What results are you currently unhappy with? Either your business is growing or it isn’t. Either your relationship is empowering or it isn’t. Either your health is good or it’s not.

Either you’re happy or you’re not.

What are you going to do about it now? Only you can make it happen.

Please forward this to others you think would get value from it. And Happy New Year!