Four things to know about email in your quest for more referrals

In this age of virtual communication and challenges with reaching people by phone, it’s tempting to resort to email for most communication - including referral requests. I know the different generations seem to have different preferences about communication. How does email help and hinder our referral business? What does the (surprisingly extensive) research say about email and influencing others?

1. Email is less effective for persuading others.

Why? Miscommunication is more likely. The 15 studies cited in YES! by Goldstein, Martin and Cialdini find five quite significant challenges with using email compared to a face to face or voice conversation.

a) All the non-verbal cues (voice inflection and physical gestures) are missing. The work done by Albert Mehrabian at UCLA found that 55% of the impact of our communication is non-verbal (eye-contact, gestures) and that another 38% is the tone of our voice. Only 7% of our impact is determined by the words we use. OUCH for email!

b) The meaning of your message is harder to interpret – especially sarcasm, seriousness, anger, and sadness.

c) Senders of email are usually unaware that a message can be misunderstood. We rarely take the time to re-read our emails carefully before we send them. Even when we do, we rarely ask ourselves; “Could the person I’m sending this to interpret this content differently – in a way I don’t mean?”
Let’s face it: this issue is never going to get any easier to deal with given the growing volume of our inboxes.

d) People are less likely to exchange personal information that helps to build rapport.

e) Women are even less persuaded by email than men.

2. It’s easier for people to put off your email request - getting a verbal commitment is SO MUCH BETTER.

Why? Because one of the six universal principles of influence is commitment/consistency. This means we want to act consistently with our commitments and values. When people tell you they will follow through on a referral they’ve mentioned, they feel a much greater sense of obligation to do so.

If you are asking for a referral, do it in person whenever humanly possible or by phone. I think requests made by mail and email are often an excuse to avoid rejection.
Ultimately this means facing your fear of rejection more.

3. Email is helpful when coaching others how to refer you.

Most people do not know how to talk about what you do to others. This step, step 5 of the 6 step referral conversation that I’ve developed, can sometimes be done just as well if not better in an email or thank you card. Why? Because having it in black and white can help people remember what to say about you. Anything that makes it easier for others to introduce you is a good thing! And it makes it less likely they’ll mess up their sincere efforts to help people they care about.

It also gives you an excuse to ‘assume’ the referral by sending a gentle reminder and coach the referral source what to say:
 “Hi Dave,
Great meeting you today. Thanks again for talking to your manager to see if she’d be open to a quick conversation.
 All you need to tell her is that a) you’ve been very pleased with the work we’ve done; b) that you highly recommend that she at least have a quick conversation with me; and c) find out if I can give her a call some time.
Hope your son’s baseball tournament is fun this weekend!
Matt”

4. Email is great for updating referral sources.

This is one area that most people do a HORRIBLE job. I hardly ever hear about referrals I give to others and I used to be very weak at keeping others informed as to what had happened to their referrals.

I understand that it’s difficult especially when business can take months to develop and phone tag can get frustrating. But we truly do forget that someone has put their integrity on the line for us and we owe it to them to keep in touch. In addition, if someone has sent the implicit message that they know, like and trust us enough to refer us, we should be going out of our way to build that relationship. There could easily be more referrals in the future from this person.

Also, a greatly under-utilized way to get stubborn referrals to call us back to is to send emails like this to the referral source:
“Hi Michelle.
Hope life is good. Just wanted to update you that I have left three messages for your brother over the past 6 weeks and have not heard back yet.
Any suggestions?
Best of luck with your seminar next week!
Matt”

Most of the time in this instance, I find that ‘Michelle’ will feel badly that her referral has not bothered to call me and she will often respond saying that she will nudge him along or she may have a good explanation as to why I’ve heard nothing (perhaps their mother has been sick).

This can work well by phone but I think is more effective in an email if it’s really all I have to say to this person. I often prefer not to interrupt someone’s day just to tell them this. Phone can be better if you have other things to call about that are adding value to the other person and if your tone of voice is very patient and casual like it’s no big deal that you’ve heard nothing back yet. If you feel even slightly irritated, stick to email where they can’t sense your frustration or disappointment!

And the only solution I know of to keep referral sources well informed is to make it a weekly habit as you go through your prospect file.

My conclusion? Ask for referrals in person if at all possible and use email as a tool afterwards to see it followed through effectively on.

Who else might appreciate these ideas? Please share the wealth and forward this on to them!