The Best Time to Ask for Referrals.
The most frequently asked question I get at seminars is “When’s the best time to ask for a referral?”
The ‘simple’ response is:
When you’ve become a 9/10(four star) movie (since nobody recommends a 7/10 movie);
When the relationship is at its highest feel-good point to date
When you believe you have added enough value to be a 9/10 movie – and you must not be bashful about this.
How Do You Know You Are a 9?
Much of this is belief in who you are and what you do. It’s the belief in your product/service, company and belief that your client is better off because of what you’ve done. It’s tracing the difference between where your client was and where he or she is now. One way to find this out is to:
Have a Value Discussion:
If you are unsure, use Step 2 of the Referral Authority’s 6 Steps to an Effective Referral Conversation (request August 7 e-zine if you missed it): have a value discussion and ask your client: “What’s been the most valuable thing we’ve accomplished working together so far?”
This response should help make it clear what value you have brought to the table. It’s very important to dig during this conversation. Often people will not have thought about their response. But if you ask for them to elaborate and/or be more specific about a point that they’ve made, then your client is forced to think harder. That’s when you get higher quality responses and when clients are more likely to start talking about their feelings.
Why is Talking About the Value Received a Big Deal?
Because as humans we don’t take action on anything until we are aware of it! Doing something smart requires thought (unlike being impulsive)! One of my favorite quotations is from Robert Holden, founder of the London-based Happiness Project: “Self-awareness is the jewel in the crown of success.”
If you want referrals, your client must be made fully aware of what benefits you have provided. Often this means you need to ask him or her. Preferably let the client come up with the responses. Although it is always wise to remind them of progress you’ve made. What do you currently do to make sure this happens?
When Should YOU Ask for Referrals?
There is no one answer here.
1. It can be during a formal meeting with a client.
Use the 6 Steps to an Effective Referral Conversation.
2. It could be after the meeting when you’re walking to the door of the office or to your cars.
I like this time because the other person is more relaxed. You know you’ve done a good job (9/10 movie) and you’ve transitioned the conversation. Now you’re talking about what that person is doing over the weekend or on some other personal topic.
THEN you pivot back to business:
Step One:
“Oh by the way, when we were talking earlier, you’d mentioned (and now you get specific):
a) Speaking at a company event
b) That your parents live nearby
c) That you thought your business partner might benefit from doing the kind of work we’ve been doing.
d) That your cousin was moving to the area
Step Two:
a) What would be a good way to organize that?
b) Would you mind seeing if they’d be open to a quick conversation with me?
c) Do you think the three of us should have lunch sometime?”
d) Do you think she might be open to a quick conversation with me about her real estate needs/situation?
3. It could be on the phone as you inquire about some value you added to him or her.
Give first. Then receive.
This is another favorite of mine. Again the other person’s guard is down because you have another reason to call that adds value to him or her. You are building the relationship. And you have to build it to a 9/10 before you can ask anyway.
I would urge you to wrack your brains and think of as many creative ways as possible to call people and make emotional bank account deposits. It could easily be to follow up on value you added in another way – a referral you sent them or some sales ideas that you emailed.
Last week I wrote about staying top of mind. One way to do that is by phone. Ask the FORD questions (family, occupation, recreation, dreams) about their life and listen for change. If you have a 9/10 relationship, you can seamlessly ask if that person mentioned might be someone you could help.
Obviously this isn’t just some technique. The relationship has to be there. Read that again! The relationship has to be there!
You can’t forward one e-zine to that person and call expecting instant referrals. People will see right through any ruse.
But if you truly care about that person and make deposits, those referral requests get easier and often come freely provided you stay in front of that person!
4. It could be during a lunch, coffee or beer meeting where you have provided value.
All the same rules apply as in point 3.
5. Listen to your gut.
Sometimes you just know you’ve established a good rapport and can ask for what you want. This sense usually develops with experience.
When Should You NOT ask?
1. When you’re not close to being a 9/10 movie. When you believe it’s shooting too soon.
This isn’t a science. Sometimes people’s discomfort with asking comes from knowing the relationship isn’t strong or they really haven’t brought much value.
I was sitting with a financial advisor this week who was telling me he rarely asked during an early appointment with a client. Wanting to hear him tell me, I asked him why not. He said; “I haven’t brought much value. I wouldn’t recommend me at that point!”
2. Do not ask at every meeting you have.
It is always smart to have referrals on your mind.
It is always smart to plant seeds about referrals.
BUT it is not always smart to ask for referrals. People will not go out to bat for you unless they are clear you have done a great job; the referrals you get will be mostly worthless and they will not return your calls.
Action Plan:
Whenever you’re in doubt, ask yourself: What do I need to do to get this relationship to 9/10? How else can I add value to this person? Often this will not relate to your business. Then you’ll be ready to ask and get what you ask for.
