4 Quick Insights on Time Management and Happiness

Here are four nuggets from Dr. Gordon Livingston’s Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now. These are important insights for the new year to keep us conscious about how we prioritize our time and our thinking.

We are what we do

The critical question we often ponder is ‘who am I?’ Start by looking at your schedule.

Who we are in life and what we achieve is not what we say or consciously think but it is what we actually do. Judge others not on what they say but on how they behave.

Livingston argues that happiness has three parts: something to do (useful work); someone to love (sustaining relationships) and something to look forward to (the promise of pleasure). He also believes that most of our heartbreak in life comes from “ignoring the fact that past behavior is the most reliable predictor of future behavior.” I guess he’s saying that change is hard.

In other words, do we really change what we do so that we can truly expect different results? We ultimately express our true values by what we do – if only because our beliefs are (unintentionally) keeping us small.

Most of the time what we get in life is not what we deserve but what we expect – what we believe we will get. Low expectations protect us from disappointments, but is that really the small life you want?? “The most secure prisons are those we construct for ourselves.”

When it comes to love, what we give – what we actually DO for others - demonstrates what we truly feel. Talk is cheap. And we only receive what we give so we get the partners we deserve. This reciprocity means that what bugs us the most about others is often in fact simply a reflection of our own limitations!

Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses

It is great to know your strengths and to leverage them. Sometimes, however, we need to acknowledge that the qualities we like most about ourselves are also ones that can be our undoing in other parts of our life. Being a perfectionist, detail-oriented and great with how productively you manage your time can be terrific at work but be a bear to live with if your partner values closeness, relaxation and tolerance.

In a world of paradox where moderation keeps us sane, the final paradox is “only by embracing our mortality can we be happy in the time we have.”

We fear the wrong things

What do you worry about?

Watching the news, it is easy to understand why we worry about terrorist attacks on planes, swine flu epidemics, violent crime, extreme weather and strangers out to swindle us. Yet what are the most real risks to us? Smoking, overeating, not wearing seat belts, social injustice and the people we elect can do far more real world harm far more often. Most of the things we actually worry about do not happen and are beyond our control. It’s time to think more about the choices we make on a daily basis.

Happiness is the ultimate risk

One of the reasons pessimists are so rarely disappointed is that their expectations are so low (what are you expecting in business this year?). To be happy is to risk losing that happiness. Since all meaningful accomplishments require risk, it truly does take courage to declare to the world that you want more fulfillment and are willing to get out of your comfort zone to do so.Continue to ask yourself: what am I looking forward to? Believe you CAN choose behaviors that make you happy.

If happiness is a life of meaning and pleasure, what do you need to address this year that may involve some risk? Isn’t it worth it? Face that fear and do it anyway. Refuse to wait for ‘some day.’

Who else might enjoy this? Please forward it on and share the wealth!