Planting Referral Seeds with the Expectations Discussion

“We create many negative situations by simply assuming that our expectations are self-evident, and that they are clearly understood and shared by other people.”
          Stephen Covey   

Do you know everything your clients expect from you? Do they know everything you expect from them? Consider having an expectations discussion to express your value, minimize miscommunication, and increase referrals. Here's how.

Several years ago was I having lunch with a CPA friend of mine who was casually explaining to me that he told all his prospective clients that he expected them to send him business if they were going to work together. Really? I had heard this from many top producers before. Finally, the light bulb went on in my head. Why can’t we all do this?

   Perhaps we can. The road to getting there is to have a two part "expectations discussion" in which, provided that you meet their expectations, clients will refer new prospects to you. If you already have a lot of existing clients, integrating this into your conversations is no problem: It’s never too late to revisit how you are doing. But you can also take this approach upfront with new prospects and, the feedback you get can even help your with client retention.

Why expectations matter

   Don’t you feel better when you know what to expect? Generally speaking, people like certainty. When you fly somewhere the pilot tells you how long the flight is, which route you’ll be taking, what altitude you’ll be flying at, what the movie is, etc. If only my dentist would do the same. Whenever I go, he doesn’t explain what he’s going to do or how long anything’s going to take. When the drilling starts, all I can do is white-knuckle my hands, think about lying on a beach somewhere, try to recall how many fillings I’m scheduled to have, and pray the agony will be over soon; it is awful. Don’t put your clients through this!

Beginning the conversation

   Here’s my solution: Wow them with everything you bring to the table. Set yourself apart by being exceptionally professional and making them feel very comfortable. We all like to know what to expect. Below is part one of a sample conversation that allows you to find out your client's expectations of you. Keep in mind this is a sample version that you would want to personalize:

“Before we get started (or wrap up), I’d like to find out what expectations you might have. What are you looking for in a potential (ex.) financial advisor/Realtor/IT specalist?”

(I think it is better to pause here and let them respond because they will not be able to think of much. Modify this list for your line of work)

“Here are some things that other clients have said they expect from me. You can expect me to:

1. Have Integrity and to work in YOUR best interest
2. To care about you, your assets, and your financial security
3. To look out for you and bring a sense of control to your financial situation and help create more confidence about the future
4. To ask questions and listen well to truly understand your needs and goals
5. Consistently provide high-quality service regardless of how much you invest
6. Bring more balance to your financial life and help you do the things you need to do for your future (whether you feel like it or not!).
7. Provide my financial expertise and experience, and stay current on changes in the investment world that you don’t have the time to do
8. Put in the time that you probably don't have to devote to your accounts/portfolio/policies
9. Buy you lunch once every year
10. Be your financial coach
11. Give you 100% of my best effort
12. Help you reduce your taxes, if possible
13. Help you with other insurance and investment needs
14. Meet with you at least quarterly/annually for financial reviews
15. Return your phone calls as soon as possible (always within 24 hours)
16. Utilize all of my resources (including my assistant/team) to best handle your concerns, questions, and requests
17. Advocate for your business
18. Make sure your investments fit with your own principles, values, and risk tolerance
19. Serve as your financial advisor for the long term.

“Can you think of anything else that’s really important to you?”

“How does this sound?”

The key ingredients and why it works

   Clearly you need to personalize the list to fit your business, your niche, and even your sense of humor. One advisor included “provide unbiased advice even though I’m a Dallas Cowboys fan.” A Realtor I know put “fresh farm eggs every once in a while.” I think it’s important to have a little humor in it so you don’t come across as too heavy and for the prospect to think, “She’s got a good sense of humor; she seems pretty nice.” Here's why this approach works:

You can counter objections. One other thing that makes this a clever approach is that you can include a counter to every objection you’ve ever heard from someone who didn’t work with you in your list. In other words, close people on whatever concerns they might have but might not verbalize. A prospect thinks you look rather young? Tell them your clients expect fresh, innovative ideas backed by a company with reputable expertise. Tell them your clients expect enthusiasm and stellar client service that is above and beyond what they could normally expect from a veteran in your industry. Tell them you specialize in serving the needs of clients in their industry and have more experience than many veterans in working with people in their profession. Find what clients may perceive is your weakness, and make it your strength.

You set yourself apart. More than anything, you will really set yourself apart by having this conversation! If you don’t believe me, you should try being on the receiving end of an expectations discussion.

   It’s important to allow prospects time to think of their own concerns and to give them time to talk about the list and what they like about it.

   My personal favorite is #17. Can you imagine going to a bank to open an account and hearing, "Sarah, I’m fortunate enough to know a lot of people in this community. Another thing you can expect from me--once I know a little bit more about you and your business--is that I would be happy to introduce you to some people who might want to do business with you.” You’re hearing about ways to make money for your business and saying to yourself, “I thought I was here to get sold something!”

You set up an "emotional bank account." Based on author Stephen Covey's "Emotional Bank Account" concept, this conversation lays out expectations and begins the relationship on solid ground.  The premise of the Emotional Bank Account is that without you clearly explaining what value you bring from the start, personality clashes and communication breakdowns can result. People judge us based on their expectations of us, and most of the time these are only implicit and have not been discussed.

Part two of the conversation: Your expectations

   Now that you've clarified what the prospect expects from you and you've impressed them with all that you bring to the table, now it’s your turn to lay out your expectations. Once again, you will want to tweak the wording to fit who you are, what you do, and words you would use:

   “Since I've told you what I will do for you, there are a few things that I ask for in return.”

   “I ask….. 

1. That you laugh at my jokes
2. That you arrive within 10 minutes of all scheduled meetings or call
3. That you return my calls within 24-48 hours
4. That you come prepared with all necessary documentation
5. Provided that I meet all of your expectations, I ask that you think about people important to you and recommend that they at least have a conversation with me
6. That you let me know of any significant changes in your life, or goal changes
7. That you mostly follow my recommendations
8. That you at least fake an interest in fishing if I start talking about it

“Does that sound fair enough?”

   What I love about this part of the discussion is that you're no longer a needy sales person. You're confidently asserting that you have expectations for a healthy working relationship. It becomes more of an interview where you’re partially sending the message that you don’t just work with anyone. I’d suggest that your list be much shorter than what the prospect can expect from you, and that you start out with a couple of very light requests. This portion of the conversation allows you to:

Plant the seeds for future referrals whenever value is provided. The real intent of this part of the conversation is #5. Once you’ve stated it, it gives you permission to return to it any time whether it’s the next day, week, month, or year. “Michelle, do you remember the discussion we had the first time we met? How am I doing? (Am I doing what I said I would do for you?)”

   Once you’ve verified that you are indeed doing a great job, “I don’t know if you remember this, but one of the things I asked from you was that if I was meeting your expectations, that in return you would think of people you care about and suggest that they have a quick conversation with me to (ex. ) make sure they have all their ducks in a row.”

Determine that you are living up to their expectations. By the way, if for some reason you don’t hear great things, move to plan B. Rather than ask for referrals, simply ask how you need to improve and address it immediately. That’s how raving fans are won.

Once you have consent for referrals, then you can continue with the rest of the 6 Steps to a fearless referral conversation.

Get confirmation that your expectations are reasonable. Once you’ve covered #5, continue on without a pause to the final two points. Remember to finish by getting their consent that your expectations are reasonable.

DO IT! Have an expectations discussion that fits your business and niche. It will go a long way toward building trust, and position you as an upfront professional who isn't afraid to have tough discussions. These discussions prevent misunderstandings and give you a way to communicate your experience and the value you provide clients.

Please forward to this other important professionals in your network or on your sales team. Share the wealth!